|August 10, 2016 ... my 23rd birthday!|
Exactly 12 days ago a judgement, in the county of Washington and State of Oregon, USA, was granted for me to be adopted.
And just two days ago I received the digital copy of the certificate that proves I am the legal child of Paul and Pam Hunter.
Today I was able to tell Janice and Greg, my host family for university, that my parents want to come and visit me on Saturday one more time to say goodbye before they leave for Uganda in a week.
And ... the feeling is SO thrilling!
Also ... today ... I spend a good amount of time on the phone with my dad working on a phone app so that I can receive money from my parents.
And ... right now ... at this 10:30 PM hour ... I am curled up in my bed and boxed in with mixed emotions. It is a happy-bitter-sweet moment.
How can God be this good? To me?
|March 2013 ... days after meeting Paul Hunter|
He wrote that I wore sadness like an overcoat
I longed for a really long time for someone to call me their kid. I imagined all of the finest things I could accomplish if I just had someone who was watching out for me. Caring for me. Loving me and accepting me.
I wanted to have parents SO SO bad. But, I knew I couldn't because they were dead. That much I knew. And whatever is dead stays dead! I wished and begged and cried to the Lord. It is the only thing I remember ever asking God to do for me.
And for 20 years nothing happened. The energy was just stationary. Never moved. Never made a sound. Felt like all the begging prayers and wishes just hit the wall, bounced back, to hit me right in the face.
|Easter Weekend 2013 with Pam Hunter|
They could have lied. Made up something. Pretended that they wanted me.
And I probably could have believed them. I was that desperate. And so broken that I simply wanted to be chosen. To be seen and to be claimed.
I remember one clear moment when I screamed and shouted at God, asking Him all the whys in the world. And then I told Him how unfair He was. How He should, at least, taken only one of my parents.
Ughh ... I could really be that mad. Sorry. But, all that time, hope was slipping away from my heart and through my hands.
Humanly it was impossible. But with God ... ALL things are possible. And His promises prove true. Psalm 68:5-6 couldn't be more true for me right now:
"Father to the fatherless, defender of widows,
this is God, whose dwelling is holy.
God places the lonely in families;
He sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.
But, He makes the rebellious live in a sun scorched land."
|With Mom & Dad on my 23rd birthday!|
It is those times when His love feels too real to be true. And, it is those times when all we can do is burst out with holy tears. Slap ourselves on the cheek for taking far too long to realize that He has been with us through it all.
It is those times that I look up in the clouds as I desire to see Him with physical eyes. Shake His hand or maybe hug and kiss Him. I am totally not sure what I would do. I can only imagine. But, I sure wish sometimes that I could see Him ... standing in front of me so that I could read Him a long list of all the things I am thankful for.
confirming my heart's desire: for Him to make me what He wants.
Today I look back and realize that 23 is not a big number for God to bring parents into someone's life. It is worth waiting for and definitely worth keep the faith.
Between Mom, Dad, and me ... I am the blessed one! I am grateful that at 23 years of age, the greatest dream of all came true. And, I couldn't be happier.
I AM ADOPTED. I AM SOMEONE'S CHILD. BROKEN, BUT CHOSEN. And, neither death nor life can ever change that!
Thanks for reading,
Rebecca N. Hunter
Rebecca wrote and sent this to Pam and me (her mother and father) late last night. It was intended to be used for her Dream Team update ... those people who are financially helping her attend school in the United States as she prepares to be a Physician Assistant and return to Uganda to serve her country ... but, I felt that it needed a much wider exposure. So, I invited Rebecca to be the guest blogger at the Next Generation Ministries keyboard this morning. Pam and I couldn't be more delighted to be the parents God has assigned to Rebecca. We love her and are so proud of her. And, why not? She is our daughter!