Am I Still Green?

One of the phrases my Dad deposited in my memory years ago was, "When you are green you grow.  When you are ripe you rot."  My life is racing toward my 74th birthday and today I'm wondering if I am still green?  Old age will never replace an essential need to keep growing.  The last thing I want is to be ripe (finished) and rot!

That's why 2020 has been a significant part of my God-given, custom-made curriculum.  God wants me to keep growing more than I do.  He graciously continues to provide guard rails alongside my pathway to increase the possibility of moving in the right direction.

Due to the coronavirus pandemic, Pam and I have been unable to work in Uganda like we have for the past 15 years.  It found us back in the States when it ushered in the Age of Uncertainty and canceled two flights back to Uganda in April and August.  We had to work from "home." Literally.  And this was the perfect environment for me to evaluate if I am still green.

Home, for me, is probably a bit different than home for you.  Due to the time spent out of America, our house needed to be occupied in our absence. Good friends lived in our home for nine years before they purchased a house nearby and had to move.  Consequently, my son and his family rented out their house and moved into ours to make sure the home didn't sit empty.

Dawson & Anna and their kids years ago
when Rebecca lived with them at our house

Dawson and Anna increased the size of their family over the past nearly five years living in our house.  Now their renters have purchased a house of their own and close on it today.  Next month seven human beings will no longer be a part of our daily life.

I really hope they know how much having this year living together means to me.  How many grandparents get to live almost a full year with their grandkids?  I would like to say that every moment was a pleasure for me and that I have been the grandfather kids would die for.  What I've discovered is that kids are kids and that reality sometimes cramps my style ... especially since I prefer to work in a quiet and controlled environment ... and my office is just a few feet away from the family room.

I confess that I am a recovering control freak.  God has been dealing with me on this weakness for decades.  I do well and then I relapse.  My emotions are sometimes miles away from the truths in my mind.  I like quiet when I am working.  I like structure and order.  Over the past ten months, God has been working hard to convince me that the four young souls creating chaos down the hall from me are more important than any work I am doing in my office.

I love my kids and my grandkids and my great-grandkids.  But sometimes it is simply not that greater love that Jesus talked about.  

I am a WIP ... a Work In Process.  The bad part of that is the grumpiness I have, from time to time, with the others in my house.  The good part is that it helps convince me I am still green.  I desire to grow.  I attempt to welcome the tension so that I am exposed to my need for transformation.

It has been much easier to talk about the inconvenience of love than to practice it consistently.  I will forever be grateful for the immense pleasure of living with extended family this year.  I am sure I am going to miss having them around every day.  And, I trust that God used these precious souls to move me closer to His desire that I will be all in with those around me at any given moment.

Staying green so I don't rot!